Harlequin Happy...

My reading mood keeps changing. All of a sudden I decided that I was in the mood for some classic Alpha males and babies of revenge. So I pulled out some Harlequins that I bought awhile ago.

Title/Author: Jack Riordan's Baby by Anne Mather
Line: Harlequin Presents
Miniseries/Tagline: Wedlocked!--Legally Wed, but He's Never Said "I love you!"
Plot: Big Misunderstanding/Troubled Marriage/General Stupidity
Hero: Jack Riordan--hardworking, sexy Irish construction CEO
Heroine: Rachel Riordan--Poor little rich girl wife

Review: Where to begin? Well as our story opens, Rachel is confronted by a woman named Karen Johnson, who claims to be pregnant with Rachel's husband's baby. Rachel is understandably outraged, even though she had known of her estranged husband's affair for the past six months. She awaits her husband's return that evening, and what does she do? Does she throw a wine bottle at his head while ranting about castration and betrayal? No, despite the fact that they haven't shared a room in over two years, she seduces him. In the time honored tradition of idiots everywhere, she is going to get pregnant to keep her man. Excellent. Of course, husband Jack isn't really having an affair, and he is so happy when he finally gets some from his wife, that he's gobsmacked when she accuses him. Karen is actually an evil stalker, and she's going to cause more problems for these two, who have lots of problems already. Misunderstandings and miscommunication abound.

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I haven't read a book that filled me with such irritation and rage in very long time. I freaking hated it. This is supposed to be about a couple whose marriage has been torn apart by repeated miscarriages, an interesting premise to explore, but poorly exceuted here. Unable to share her pain and fearful of getting pregnant again, Rachel pretty much checks out of their marriage. Jack responds by throwing himself into work. Yet we are supposed to believe that these two truly love and lust after each other. Rachel hasn't slept in the same wing as her husband in over two years. She made him sleep in an armchair while visiting his parents, for Chrissakes. Jack is suffering from health problems, but doesn't feel he can confide in his wife. I just had a difficult time getting past the fact that they had let their marriage deteriorate so badly, without any kind of communication or effort. Then some ho says she's pregnant and they suddenly realize how much they love each other? The situation isn't helped by the fact that the characterization is paper-thin. Rachel is a passive, whiny brat, both boring and unpleasant. Jack, far from the chest beating Alpha I expected, just seemed weary and depressed. Understandable perhaps, but not romantic. This was a failure on all levels. It was awkwardly told, there was no chemistry, no heat, no romance. It gets my first ever F. The only thing that made me smile was when evil stalker ho pushed Rachel off the cliff. Everything else in the book I both expected and dreaded. That was a surprise that made me laugh, albeit inappropriately.