A Mistress by any other name...

would not be half so interesting...

I have to admit, I am always drawn to books with the word "mistress" in the title. And there's no dearth of them over at Harlequin. I think it's right up there with "baby", "bachelor", "tycoon", "millionaire" and "virgin" for words used most often in a title. [I'm just geek enough to love it if someone would do a statistical breakdown of Harlequin titles.] I am not certain what is so compelling about the idea of a mistress. My understanding of "Mistress" is that it is a woman with whom a married man is having an affair, or in the more historical sense, a woman who is set up in a house with accounts and such, in exchange for which she provides her "protector" with sexual favors. So what's the appeal? Infidelity isn't often an interesting subject for romance, and the idea of a "kept woman" in this day and age seems unreal. I'm sure it happens, but really, get a life! Get a job. Unless the guy provides a 401K and dental. And certainly, it seems as though some of these books aren't too clear on what it means to be a mistress.

For example, I recently read Mistress on Trial by Kate Hardy. I have no idea how the mistress thing comes into play, other than the fact that the hero and heroine are sleeping with each other. I bought this on the basis of the excerpt and because it's and "opposites attract" premise, with a stuffy lawyer and artsy chick. But it was quite a pleasant surprise, and lived up to the excerpt. Leo Ballantyne starts out as a typical Presents hero, glowering and making nasty assumptions about the heroine based on half-assed info. Rose Carter, a vintage clothing dealer, makes quite a few assumptions herself. But in the second chapter, he calls to apologize! The two realize they maybe have got it wrong. As they find they have more in common as they think, they both fight their attraction to each other, thinking that the differences are too big to overcome. There are no big misunderstandings, no contrivances, just two confused people head over heels. I particularly liked Leo, who went after Rose with the same drive that made him so successful. He even says "I love you" first. It almost seemed to real, lacking that entertaining but ridiculous element of unreality that many HPs have. I'm giving it a B, and I'd recommend it to those who are leery of HP. I'd definitely read her again. Note: It is veddy British, and some of the language and legal stuff is different from the US.

On the other hand, much is made of the heroine's "mistress" status in Katherine Garbera's Six Month Mistress. [Look at this cover. The guy is supposed to be suave, sexy businessman. But to me, it looks like the former fat girl with her best buddy (and co-president of the drama club and art society) at the prom. He's grabbing her chin like, "No, no, no, sweetheart. If you eat one more cocktail frank, you're going to bust out of that fabulous dress. Then you'll never get that adorable jock." I love teen movies.] In exchange for billionaire Jeremy Harper's help, the struggling Bella McNamara agrees to be his mistress for six months. There's a legal contract and everything. It ain't no thang for Bella, who has been into Jeremy forever. Jeremy has wanted Bella for years as well. So why doesn't he just ask her out? Well because his dad was happier with his mistresses than with his wife, so Jeremy figures that's the way to go. Whatever. Being mindful of her feelings, Jeremy lets everyone assume they are girlfriend/boyfriend, keeping the true nature of the arrangement secret. Again, why not just make her your girlfriend? Jeremy's kind of a bonehead. I loved the bit where Bella hesitates opening one of his gifts in front of her assistant, because the gift one gives a mistress is probably different from one you give a girlfriend. The possibilities abound--is it trashy lingerie? A feather boa? Birth Control? Silly contrivances aside, this was a fast read which would probably appeal to people who like these kind of books. Bella was quite a good heroine. Too bad Jeremy seemed monumentally clueless at times. A C+. Eh, real or fake mistresses, I'm sure I'll keep reading 'em. I guess "Fuckbuddy on Trial" or "Six Month Girlfriend" just resonates differently.

Sticky:Have a Harlequin Christmas!!!

Image courtesy of Some ECards.

Having a contest, scroll down for new stuff.

If you don't get emails from Harlequin, let me tell you to go there now. They are running a Twelve Deals of Christmas Thing. Today's deal is 80% off of their Bargain outlet. Shit's like 95 cents each. Got me thinking, since I went on a Harlequin mini-binge over the weekend...

Many readers are probably like I used to be, thinking that Harlequins are full of secret babies, sheiks, passive women and other cliches and anachronisms. Perhaps you are slightly intrigued but unsure whether or not to spend your hard earned money on something that has "Mistress" in the title for no apparent reason. Well, you're right about the fake mistress, the overbearing men and the lack of condoms, but categories can also be very readable. Given their short length, they're the perfect quick fix, making it easy to try something you wouldn't normally.

In honor of the holiday season, I am going to give away a prize pack of new and gently used Harlequins. Here's your chance to experiment with category romance. The package includes:

Mistress on Trial by Kate Hardy (Harlequin Presents)
Doing Ireland! by Kate Hoffman (Harlequin Blaze)
For the Sheik's Pleasure by Annie West (Harelquin Presents)
Restless Wind by Aimee Thurlo (Harlequin Intrigue)
Accidentally Expecting by Michelle Celmer (Silhouette Special Edition)
Coulda Been a Cowboy by Brenda Novak (Harlequin Superromance)

All you have to do is comment and tell me about the worst present you ever got, for any occasion. One lucky commenter will be randomly chosen on December 15th. C'mon you know you want'em.

Some SuperRomance...

So I read two Harlequin Supeerromances over the weekend. I am finding myself enjoying the line, although, the books aren't necessarily awesome. They are character-driven stories, and they often have out of the ordinary settings, characters and premises. They're a nice change of pace.

Coulda Been a Cowboy by Brenda Novak
Miniseries: A Dundee, Idaho Book
Mini-Synopsis: A football player takes custody of his illegitimate and unwanted son. Trying to stay out of scandal's way and get back into playing shape, Tyler Garnier, accepts a former teammate's offer of a cabin in Dundee Idaho. Now he just needs to find someone to keep his kid out of the way. Frumpy, poor Dakota Brown seems perfect. Although the two seem like total opposites, and Dakota doesn't respect Tyler at first, they strike up an unlikely friendship. And perhaps these two very different people are exactly what each other need.

This is the fourth book I've read by Brenda Novak. She always has interestingly flawed characters and unusual plotlines. However, in the past, I felt that the romance aspect kind of went by the wayside. In CBaC, the focus is firmly on the characters' relationship. Tyler was not nearly as unsympathetic as he could have been. He is singularly focused on his career, and just particularly clueless about how attached he really is to his son, and later his nanny. Dakota is a practical, intelligent woman who has been held back by tragedy and family. I liked the way their relationship developed. They had a nice friendship, and when they got together it was because they really knew and liked each other. The things that held the story back for me were that a potentially huge conflict regarding the babymomma was wrapped too quickly and pat and the fact that Tyler carried on with his "I can't be a family man" schtick for far too long. But still a B. Novak is an author to try.


Blame it on the Dog by Amy Frazier
Miniseries: Singles...with Kids
Mini-Synopsis: A San Francisco artist with a twelve year old son and a rambunctious mutt, finds herself in need of a "dog behaviorist." The trainer's calm, stern demeanor and approach to disciplining animals alternately infuriate and intrigue Selena Milano. Jack Quinn finds himself fascinated by the mercurial Selena, bringing up emotions he hasn't felt since the death of his wife. But will these opposites be tripped up by Selena's need for independence?

This is the first book I've read by Amy Frazier. She has a nice writing style, and I read this book in a matter of hours. I liked the funky SF setting, and the unusual occupation of the hero and heroine. Selena is an installation artist, and Jack rehabilitates dogs and runs a huge rescue center. However the book suffered from an issue that I find happens often in books of this ilk. I'm always attracted to stories with free-spirited heroines and conservative heroes, but that "free-spirited" label tends to mean immature and bratty behavior on the part of the heroine. Selena is no exception. Her insistence on "self-reliance" and fear of losing control over her son, cause her to treat Jack like crap way too many times. I grew increasingly exasperated, and wanted him to cut and run. Jack was a great guy, but not nearly as uptight as you would think. He feel like a ton of bricks right away, and pursued Selena even though she was unpleasant to him. I wished he had a little more fight. When she changed her mind at the end I wasn't positive she wouldn't change it again. This one gets a C+. But I would try this author again, with a different storyline.

A round up...

I wanted to talk about a couple of other books I read while sans computer. I was still in Harlequin mode. These are more impressions or comments than anything else. I'm not going to give letter grades or anything.

*Rising Darkness by Cynthia Cooke--I had read the first in the Dark Enchantments miniseries and enjoyed it, so I picked this one up. It started off with a great Gothic set-up: a British family in a crumbling estate held hostage by a pack of howling demonic wolves. The heroine, Emma McGovern, is the last of a line plagued by a Gypsy curse, and her face has been badly scarred by a wolf attack. Sadly, the book didn't sustain the atmosphere, the suspense or any interest on this readers part. Strictly paranormal romance by the numbers, it featured two bland ciphers (the hero a tormented vampire type) who fall quickly and deeply in love for reasons unknown to them and me. Seriously, I can't remember how it ended, but I remember being annoyed. Ah well. I still bought the next installment, Night Mischief by Nina Bruhns.

*The Farmer Takes a Wife by Barbara Gale--I wanted this story of a Boston doctor who brings new life to a sleepy town and a crabby farmer because it took place in New Hampshire and I love NH. Unfortunately, this book suffered from some of the worst editing ever. Both the hero and heroine's eyes change color, and the heroine's hair color changes several times before settling on Auburn. At one point the heroine suggests talking to the local congressman in Albany (which is the capital of NY, not NH). The hero reflects on his initial meeting with the heroine, recalling a scene which he was not in. He came in after she walked into the gas station. Also much ado was made of the hero's marrying too young and having a child too quickly. But he's 40, and his son was described as 8 or 9. Having a child at 31? Not exactly teenage pregnancy. It made no sense. And now? I know what people mean when they complain about head hopping. I found the pov confusing at several times. Nah, can't rec this one at all.

*A Family of Her Own by Brenda Novak.--I've been reading another book by Novak, and I think that she is a skilled writer who writes interesting and original stories. But the romance (frustratingly to me) always seems to take a backseat. This is about an ex-con auto mechanic named Booker and a "good girl" hairdresser named Katie whose intense affair ends when she runs off for SF with a guy that everyone thinks is a tool. Two years later she returns to Dundee Idaho unwed, alone, penniless and pregnant. Booker is unhappy to see the woman who broke his heart but he ends up taking her in when her family turns her away. There was a lot of focus on Katie growing up and becoming mature and independent, which was a good thing, because I wanted to hate her. Sure, no one approved of Booker, but they didn't like the other guy either. And once they got to SF he got a nose ring and a Robert Smith haircut and became a club kid who sponged off of her. But she stuck it out for two years? And gave him pity sex "one last time"? Whereupon she became one more victim of the dreaded romance novel condom failure rate? Great judgment, Katie. Dump the sexy, mysterious, intense guy who is kind enough to take in the village idiot (no, not Katie, this other guy) for a wannabe hipster tool. I wish there had been some flashbacks or something about Katie and Booker's relationship, so I could see what he saw in her, as well as why she didn't believe that he cared about her. I was also curious about what Booker did time for. Overall, not so bad though, just didn't quite satisfy.

*Driven by Eve Kenin--All is not lost, 'cuz this book was great! I would definitely recommend it to anyone who likes futuristic/sci fi or who is looking for something other the standard vamp/furry paranormal. Driven is set in a frozen future in which truckers have to bring goods to the various settlements. One particular company controls everything, and is run by a powerful and super nasty guy. There's a tough, kick butt and likeable heroine, Raina who is a great match for the unusual and very hot hero, Wizard. I lurved him, though an HEA with him would not be easy. See some reviews here, here and here. Worth your while. Bev from Bev's Books, if you stop by, I'm recommending this to you. You'll like it!

Have you ever...

pulled out a purchase you made a couple of weeks ago, and been like, "What the eff was I thinking?"

I went to the used bookstore a couple of weeks ago, sans kiddies, and I don't know if I was just heady with freedom or what, but I went hog-wild. I know that I wanted to get some Harlequin lines that I have never read before, and I was picking up and putting a lot of stuff down. I also know that I had meant to grab a Harlequin Intrigue and didn't, so I must've put down the wrong book. Or two. But apparently that day, I had a real fascination for the works of Christine Rimmer, secret babies, accidental pregnancies, and most inexplicably, a boss/secretary story. Called "The Boss and his Secretary." I never like those. Nothing against the works of Christine Rimmer, I'm just not sure why I was compelled to buy three books by an author I am completely unfamiliar with. Perhaps she will become an auto-buy.

Oh well, with trade-ins, the whole she-bang was about 4 dollars. I think some are going back unread.

Big Girls Don't Cry by Brenda Novak

A two Haiku review!

Warning: I was unsure how to write this review. Part of me feels like I'm giving away the big secret. But there's no way around it, because that's what I both liked and disliked about the book. And the "secret" is revealed early on and is what pushes the whole plot. Here is the slightly misleading back blurb from the book:

Sometimes Mr. Right couldn't be more wrong...

Thanks to a devastating revelation about her husband, Reenie Holbrook's once-perfect marriage is over. For eleven years she had the life she wanted--and now it's gone.

Sometimes Mr. Wrong couldn't be more right...

Reenie decides that the first step in recovering from her ordeal is to find work; after all, she has three young children to support. She's thrilled when she lands a job at Dundee High teaching math--until Isaac Russell, the man who triggered the unraveling of her marriage, accepts a temporary position teaching science. Then she's tempted to quit. Reenie doesn't care if the whole town admires Isacc...and she won't admit that, secretly, she admires him, too. She doesn't want to see him or his sister in "her" town.

But a friendship with the most unlikely woman leads to a relationship with the most unlikely man...

If you are intrigued but don't want to know what's going to happen, don't click on the cut.

One man with two wives,
Wife two's brother finds out
and tells all the truth.

Reenie recovers,
but Isaac makes things tougher,
Intense, slow romance.

Comments from the peanut gallery:

This was an intriguing read. I devoured it in a matter of hours. Often in romances, the traumatic events have already taken place, but in Big Girls Don't Cry, we find out what's been happening along with the hero and heroine. It was very immediate and engrossing, but it also weakened the story a bit, for reasons I will explain.

Keith O'Connell lives with his wife of 11 years, Reenie (his HS sweetheart), and their three children in Dundee, Idaho. He also lives with his wife of 9 years, Liz, and their two children in L.A. His job as a software developer has him travelling between both places, and he has used both women's trust to great advantage over the past nine years. However, when Liz's brother Isaac becomes suspicious, he follows Keith to Idaho and uncovers the truth. After meeting the charming Reenie, he is unsure of what to do, but these things take on a life of their own and so the truth is revealed. The two women have to deal with a totally awful betrayal, while protecting their children. Keith abandons family #2, to try to get Reenie (whom he has always loved more) to take him back. Stung, and hurt for her children, Liz moves to Dundee to make him acknowledge his family and stay in his kids' lives. Loyal brother Isaac goes along to help. Now everyone's together in this small town. Can you say AWKWARD? Things only get more complicated when Isaac and Reenie grow increasingly attracted to each other.

This read more like women's fiction to me (but I'm not positive because I haven't read too much women's fiction). A lot of the book was focused on the big reveal, and everyone's reaction and recovery from it. I really liked the characters. They were well drawn, strong and had mixed and different reactions. But Reenie, Liz, and Isaac seemed human, never contrived or petty. That was some heavy shit to be dealing with. Keith, OTOH, was such a selfish, immature asswipe, it was hard to see why both women had loved him so much. But he was a bigamist, so I wasn't expecting to like him anyway.

The problem for me was that the book was so much about the fallout and recovery from the Keith betrayal, that the Reenie-Isaac romance felt a bit rushed. I was getting impatient for it to actually start. There was chemistry between them from the get go, but I would've liked a bit more focus on the relationship development and the sparks between them. Also, Reenie, had been totally in love with Keith prior to finding out the truth. Now, of course, I wouldn't expect her to remain that way, given the situation. But it made something like her telling Isaac that it was the best sex ever, ring a little hollow, given that she was shown to be sexually satisfied with Keith at the beginning. Overall, a moving and interesting read, but I'm giving it a B-, because I wanted more romance. I went to Brenda Novak's website , and I'm very interested in some of her other Superromances, especially the ones that take place in Dundee. She's got some unusual premises going on there. I hope the focus is on the advertised love story.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I think a trip to the bookstore is in order! I have decided that the problem is that I'm burned out on paranormals and erotic romances. I need a change to get my mojo going. With that in mind, I went off to the used bookstore (solo!)and took home a bag of Harlequin Romance and Superromance and Silhouette Special Editions. I am currently reading Father Material by Kimberly Van Meter. Not bad, but the heroine's a bit of a pill, so far. It's got one of those "knocked up from a one night stand, now I'm falling in love with my baby daddy" plots. When I read these blurbs, I shudder with distaste, because in my opinion, accidental pregnancies don't often lead to HEAS, but rather to bitterness and recriminations. Even though I'm not usually one of those people, I have to wonder about the message it sends: get knocked up, and the guy will love you and take care of you and your baby forever. Troubling. But day-um, if these stories don't just hit the spot sometimes. I'm sucked in wondering how she's going to tell him, how's he going to react, how, for jiminy's sake, are they going to make it work.

I finished Familiar Stranger by Michele Hauf. Am I becoming a Harlequin Junkie? This was good, very cute. I think the Nocturne line is starting to hit a nice stride. This one had a great heroine and a Jason Statham-like (in my mind anyway) hero. [OT: Did you know that Jason Statham's girlfriend dumped him for Billy Zane? Billy Zane?!] I liked the idea of two factions (The Cadre and P-Cell), who study paranormal entities and take very different approaches to limiting their presence on Earth. I also liked the odd world surrounding the Cadre's base. A bit heavy on the British-isms (cheeky bird, snog etc.), but being an Anglophile, I liked it. The romance seemed a bit rushed, but less so than many categories I've read. I'd give it a B-. Good (and kinda different) characters, interesting worldbuilding, entertaining story. I'll be reading the others. Check out the Dark Enchantments blog. Fun for crazy people like me who like to read about fictional characters as though they are real.

Click on the cut for pictures of me and the kids--
{Edited because I can't figure out the cut on the new layout and the pictures are slowing me down.}

The return of the review haiku

It's been awhile, no?

Ghosts and Roses by Kelley St. John

Psychic Family,
Compelled to help troubled ghosts.
One plagued by hot dreams.

Gage must help victim,
Whose killer wants his dream girl,
Solid Blaze, fast read.

Comments from the Peanut Gallery: This book is saddled with the stupidest miniseries title evah: The Sexth Sense. Come on! I guffawed when entering it into Romantic Advances. I guess we should be happy the tagline wasn’t “I have sex with dead people.” But the description sounded interesting, and after reading the review at AAR, I decided to buy it. And it was pretty good, one of the best Blazes I’ve read. I polished it off on a round trip train ride to the city for Ellen S.’ thirtieth (So which is it? Filthy or Flirty? Happy Birthday!)

The miniseries concerns the Vicknairs, a family of Louisiana psychics who have been mandated by the family matriarch to help troubled spirits cross to the other side. Playboy ER physician Gage Vicknair’s most recent assignment is a murder victim who believes she was stabbed by the man who molested her and her three ‘sisters’ in a orphanage many years before. She needs Gage to help her warn and protect them. One of the women, Makayla Sparks, just happens to be the one Gage has been having intense sexual dreams about. But between her terrible past, and the present danger, they may not have a future.

I really dislike it when rape or sexual abuse is treated casually or carelessly in romance novels, and I was a bit concerned, given the high heat level and short length of the Harlequin Blaze. But St. John pulled it off satisfactorily, not giving the horror of the past short shrift. She made the whole “dream lover” device work too, which is kind of a cheesy one, by writing the heck out of the physical and emotional intensity for the two characters. The dream dimension angle provided a safe space for the heroine to explore her sexuality, and to try trusting a man. I wish Makayla had a little more character development than “former victim”, but there was quite a bit of plot going on here, too. I agree with the AAR reviewer that, after a pretty good amount of suspense, the ending kind of fizzled by making the characters seem, hmmm, not too bright. I’d check out St. John’s other work. The other ones in the series have ghosts as the love interest, which I’m not into, but there are another three interesting cousins, who I hope get stories as well. B-. Give it a go, if you like ghosts or psychics.

I'll take a giant helping of douchebaggery...

with a dollop of "Italian" machismo.

Hold the condom, please!

My reading mood has been capricious lately. Terribly so. One moment, I'm interested in a really meaty historical, the next I'm thinking of going for a Romantic Suspense, then I'm like maybe a light contemporary, then two hours later...well you get the idea. When I find myself suffering from a short attention span, I often find that reading a harlequin or a e-book hits the spot. Even if it's mediocre, there is often entertainment value to be had, for good or for ill, and it gets the reading mojo going again. Since Lucy Monroe has served me well in the past, I picked up her HP Pregnancy of Passion (Miniseries: Expecting! She's sexy, successful and pregnant!).

This was a rough go at first. I wasn't sure if I'd make it. We have Elisa, the illegitimate daughter of an American actress and a Sicilian businessman, who now lives in Italy and works as a jeweller. A year ago, she entered into an intense affair with her father's friend, Salvatore di Vitale, a security expert. It ended badly when she became pregnant and he rejected her, sure that the child was not his. Depressed and alone Elisa miscarries. Now having made the attempt to go on with her life, poor Elisa is in for an unhappy surprise, when Salvatore shows up at the behest of her papa, who fears that she is in danger (for reasons that aren't all that interesting, so I won't get into it).

Salvatore has been suffering from a bad case of Sicilian guilt and fears he caused Elisa's miscarriage. His solution: to marry her, of course. Even though Salvatore still believes she's a slut,'cuz her papa told him so. The man who saw her only during summers while she was growing up. But a Sicilian man must take the word of another Sicilian man, after all. And she turns him on so much, she must be a dirty whore. But he'll marry her, because he hurt her and he feels bad. Kill me now. I was hating this guy so much, I was blaming him for the damn miscarriage. It gets worse as the depth of his douchebaggery is revealed, because of course Pops wasn't calling his daughter a ho. Anyone with half a brain cell might've asked for clarification, rather than jumping to a nasty conclusion. And it turns out he made another bonehead move, which had me shaking my fist.

Our heroine Elisa is very unhappy with Salvatore's reappearance, but she still loves him, so she drops her drawers. And he takes the opportunity to try to knock her up again. I know, I know, sounds awful, but the book actually got better as it went along. Monroe does a very good job at showing that Salvatore is indeed, a dumb shit. She explains his reasoning without excusing it. Chalk it up to Sicilian this or that, it was a smokescreen to protect his feelings, and he effed up big time. Salvatore definitely shows geniune remorse as he realizes what a fucktard he was. And Elisa makes him suffer. But not enough for me. Although a good job was done explaining his actions, the hero was still too much of an asshole for me to really get behind the HEA. I will give it a C+ though, because at least I was able to understand Salvatore a bit by the end.

Lightening my Load! (Part B)

This will be here awhile. Scroll down for new reviews and stuff.

This time inspired by a post at The Good, The Bad and The Unread, I'm doing a giveaway. When my parents moved last summer, I absconded with many, many paperbacks of varying quality. I had originally planned on reading some of them and using them for the blog, and also selling some on Ebay. It's been nine months and I can't quite be arsed to do anything about them. But after reading the post and comments at Sybil's, I thought some of them might have nostalgia or amusement value for others. So, without further ado, here is my list of vintage romances up for grabs. For the most part they are paperback editions from the late seventies.
Barbara Cartland (from the Bantam Barbara Cartland Library)
The Tears of Love
The Penniless Peer
The Wicked Marquis
Call of the Heart
The Impetuous Duchess
The Karma of Love
The Bored Bridegroom
A Dream From the Night
The Cruel Count
The Elusive Earl

Harlequin Romances
My Heart's a Dancer by Roberta Leigh
That Man Simon by Anne Weale
Under Moonglow by Anne Hampson
Love's Sweet Revenge by Mary Wibberley

Signet Regencies
An Honorable Offer by Catherine Coulter
The Counterfeit Marriage by Joan Wolf

Harlequin Presents
by Anne Mather:
The Arrogance of Love
Forbidden
Rooted in Dishonour
Beware the Beast
by Anne Hampson:
Dear Plutocrat
Fetters of Hate
Passionate Involvement by Lillian Peake
Tidewater Lover by Janet Dailey





This is how it will work. If you are interested, comment and we will get in touch. Each commenter can have up to four. I will pay for Media Mail postage if you are in the US or Canada. If you live elsewhere, we will work together to come to a cheap solution we both like. If nobody wants any, I'll find some other use for them. Perhaps a cover collage.

Four down, Sixteen to go...

HP the way it oughta be!



Mistress for a Weekend by Susan Napier

The two haiku review:

Nerd and the tycoon,
Corporate Espionage,
Or just a big klutz?

Weekend together,
He will find out. Fun banter,
characters, dumb end.

Comments from the peanut gallery:

Aside from Lucy Monroe, my previous HP experiences have fallen short. Instead of the titillating, glamorous cheese I expected to devour, they were a chore to finish. I'm going to add Susan Napier to the list of HP authors to read. I enjoyed this one. I liked the hero and heroine, and the banter between them and the growing tension were great. The big issue was the weak ending. I hate it when books fast forward and we're supposed to just believe that their relationship developed in the meantime. From what we did see, they seem like they are at the start of something big, but a marriage proposal? It seemed silly and tacked on. C+ for the ending and the stupid title. Will someone please explain to me the Harlequin/Silhouette obsession with the word "mistress"? They seem to use it interchangeably with "lover" or "f***buddy." What makes someone a mistress, and why does every other heroine have to be one?

Okay, okay I admit it!

I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday, and bought two books, which I wasn't supposed to do until the end of the month. But I get these weekly emails from Harlequin, and I always read them. And every once in awhile there is a book that I decide that I simply must have. Such was the case yesterday. I remembered that I had a B&N GC, so off to the store I ran, not wanting to miss it. You, know, with these Harlequins, they're only available for a limited time. It took two hours, tops, to read, but I'm feeling a bit guilty that I cheated on my challenge. But let's get to the two haiku review.

Fortune's Forbidden Woman by Heidi Betts

Step-sibling tension,
Wanting each other for years,
Him: cold, her: awkward.

Insecure female,
asshole male are among flaws.
But it was yummy.

Comments from the peanut gallery:

Yes, this was the book that I broke my challenge for. Was it worth it? Yeah. This was angsty, melodramatic, cheese at its best. Stepbrother and sister secretly in love with each other for years? He treats her like dirt because he feels guilty? She's still a virgin because she can't get him out of her head? Tawdry. Sign me up please! It wasn't without its flaws. The heroine's overriding character trait was being awkward and insecure, not the most attractive. The hero was a bit of a douche, and he was one of those mood swingy, "I won't, I won't, I won't, no, I will" types. But it was delicious, sexy and emotional and intensely readable. It gets a B- for keeping my interest and not making me roll my eyes too much. I devoured it. And for a yummy dessert I polished off an HP, which did come off of my list. Two books in one day! Review to come later.

One down, nineteen to go...

A two-haiku review of Beyond the Edge by Susan Kearney

Poor Little Rich Girl,
Meets Time Cop from the future,
On a tough mission.

A race against time,
Yet he finds time for sex games,
Hot sex, meh plot.

Comments from the Peanut Gallery: The sex scenes were hot, I'll give you that. Even though this was apparently the first "Extreme Blaze" I was still a bit surprised by the frank exploration of a dominant/submissive relationship. Nothing too freaky-deaky, more of a lie-back-and let-me-pleasure-you-as-I-wish sort of thing. Hot. So hot that I was distracted whenever the book returned to the "plot". It was like, "What are they talking about again?" Seriously, the plot was so wafer thin that I barely paid attention.The heroine, Fallon, was pleasant enough, as was the hero, Kane Kincaid (awkward name), although he remained rather enigmatic, almost to the point of being cardboard. In no way, did I believe these two fell madly in love within the week they were together. Had a rockin' good time, yes, twu wuv, no. Lots of time-travel and future technology clap-trap. One eye-roller (spoilers ahead): Kade came to the present carrying technology that can clean and shave a woman head to toe, body-paint her, and create the iluusion of clothing, but he can't put a condom in his pocket? They're too busy playing psychological sex games to use BC, so Fallon gets pregnant within their handful of days together. Not only that, her condition is detected during a physical exam, within days of conception. Whatever.

Hot Sex+Weak Plot+Not buying the HEA=C-. Not awful, but kinda silly, and slow (when they're not getting it on.

I think somebody watched every season of Charmed...

Persecuted by Lisa Childs is another Silhouette Nocturne (they're 25% off at Target, $3.93, and I just can't help myself), Persecuted is the second in the "Witch Hunt" trilogy. You're okay with not reading the first, because much of the info is reiterated (over and over). This trilogy follows three sisters who have inherited special powers from their Gypsy mother. Long ago, their ancestor was burned at the stake for witchcraft by a crazy, vengeful fellow named MacGregor. The girls' mother gave them up in order to protect them. Now the sisters are finding their way back to each other, because someone has begun the Witch Hunt again. Persecuted features the eldest sister, Elena Jones, who has visions of the future. Elena ended up back with her father (mama was a rolling stone, apparently all three girls have different fathers) and her wealthy, controlling, bitch of a grandmother. Elena is rather cold and controlled herself, as a result of the efforts of keeping her visions hidden. As the book begins, Elena is estranged from her husband and haunted by a dream lover. The lover of her dreams is Joseph Dolce, her grandmother's right hand man. In real life, Elena dislikes Joseph, but will have to trust and depend on him to save the lives of her daughter and herself.

This book was one of those experiences where I noticed a number of things I didn't like, even as I devoured it. It was very readable, especially in contrast to the other book I was slogging through. But there were certain elements of which I just wanted...more. I find this happens to me often with categories. It seems like a length limitation, trying to squeeze in plot, world building and character development. Let's see...how to explain...oh, like Joseph was supposed to be this former street kid who had made his fortune strong arming clients for the nutty grandma. But he just wasn't enough, never seemed tough enough or controlled enough, y'know? There were also hints that he had lusted after Elena (a married woman) for a long time, but again, not enough. I just think that being a little more in depth about it and the darkness and angst that it suggests, combined with Elena's dreams about and mistrust of him, would have made their connection more tortured and sexy, stronger. As it was, when he makes his speech about not being the type for family and commitment, I was like, whatever dude, you're not fooling me. I also thought the witch hunt thing a little silly, and the three sister who each have a different power? Who literally each have a charm to protect them? Inspiration comes from all over. I give this one a C+, because while I found it flawed, it also kept my attention. A little more depth and intensity would've made it really good. I noticed that this one and the first, Haunted, are both sold out, so others must've enjoyed it as well. I'm sure I'll check out the third and track down the first at some point.

Happy Easter, all!!

We now have a huge amount of candy at my house, between going to the in-laws yesterday, the Easter Bunny hitting my house this morning, and then my parents this afternoon.

After spending many, many hours on it, I almost have the blog back the way I want it. And I've finally made the expandable post thing work again. It was a big learning experience in HTML for me. I think I'll be more comfortable making changes from now on.

Haven't been doing much reading. I've been so sleepy, and just not feeling anything. I actually think I'm going to hit some e-pubs once I get this post done. Something short and sexy, to get me going. I figure even if it stinks, it'll spur me onto finding something better to read.

I've only read one book so far this month, Anything for You by Sarah Mayberry.



I'm always drawn to Harlequin Blazes, but in the past I've found them disappointing. The relationship always seemed to be more about sex than love, and too rushed. This is the first one that really worked for me. Anything for You features a friends to lovers theme. Delaney Michaels and Sam Kirk have been best friends since they were teenagers, and are not only neighbors, but partners in an Australian extreme sports magazine. Sam is a footloose and fancy-free sorta guy, while Delaney is the former tomboy who has long been in love with her best friend. While Delaney is away on her annual holiday, she realizes that her unrequited love is getting in the way of finding other relationships, so she decides it is time to cut her ties to Sam. So she tells the gobsmacked Sam that she's leaving the magaazine. While Delaney tries to convince herself that she's doing the right thing, Sam is hurt by her sudden desire to distance herself from him. After getting the requisite makeover, Sam is stunned by Delaney's hotness, and the tension between them explodes.

This was a really fun read. Sam is a truly clueless hero. I would've been annoyed that he so quickly jumped Delaney's bones, just because she got a new hairdo and a clue. But it always seemed very clear, right from the beginning, that Sam completely adored Delaney and that his whole world revolved around her. We are given a hint about why he compartmentalizes his emotions so much, with a glimpse of his unpleasant mother, but it's not angst ridden or overanalyzed. Right up until the end, he doesn't seem to know what he's feeling, but it's pretty clear through his actions. He just has a horrible view of romantic relationships, and so believes his feelings for Delaney are just deep friendship. They seemed like real thirty year olds to me, and acted like people their age. And the sex was hot! I blew right through this one. A B. If you like friends turned lovers, give it a try.

Even more Harlequins...

After my category experience, I thought I'd switch gears a bit, but then I found The Scorsolini Marriage Bargain by Lucy Monroe. Having read and enjoyed the prior title in this series, I decided to give it a go.

Title/Author: The Scorsolini Marriage Bargain by Lucy Monroe
Harlequin Presents
Miniseries/Tagline: Royal Brides/The Scorsolini Princes: Proud rulers and passionate lovers who need convenient wives!
Plot: Troubled marriage/Big misunderstanding
Hero: Principe Claudio Scorsolini, future ruler of Isole dei Rei (where is this country supposed to be?)
Heroine: Therese Scorsolini, convenient wife

Review: Ms. Monroe writes an excellent Harlequin Presents. She really knows how to pack a satisfying romance into this short format. This is a category done right.

Therese Scorsolini has always known that she was chosen to be Claudio's bride because she fit his requirements, rather than because of emotion. That didn't stop her from falling in love with her serious, controlled husband. However, an issue has arisen that Therese knows is a deal breaker. Despite her love for her husband, Therese believes that she will have to divorce him. Claudio realizes that his wife has pulled away from him in the past few months, though he doesn't know why. He finds himself increasingly uneasy and upset, and when his wife asks him for a divorce his worst fears are realized. Could the wife he never loved be leaving him for another man?

Like the Anne Mather of a few posts back, the book involves a troubled marriage, misunderstandings and fertility issues. This one works where that one didn't for a couple of reasons. We are given enough insight into the characters' thoughts and behavior that their actions make sense. Yes, Therese keeps a big secret from her husband, but based on their circumstances, and on his past behavior, I could see why she did. Plus, Monroe doesn't drag stuff out for too long. Just when I was about to say, "enough already", Therese comes clean with Claudio. Claudio was one of my favorite kind of heroes--cool, controlled and confident, but totally stupid where his feelings are concerned. His behavior bordered on boorish for the first part of the book, but just when I was about to write him off as an asshat, he discovers the secret that his wife has been keeping. He feels genuine regret for acting like douchebag, and tries to atone for his actions. These two characters were not the best with the whole emotion thing, and had made a lot of assumptions about each other. Reading about how they started communicating and came to terms with their feelings for each other made for a really satisfying love story. Plus, the chemistry and love scenes were hot!

Of course, it had to end with a pregnancy, but it was the first I've ever read that happened with IVF. That made me happy, because miracle babies bug me. There are lots of couples out there struggling with infertility and I don't like how HEA always seems to equal effortless pregnancy. I give this one an A.

On a high from the Monroe, I pulled another HP from the pile,The Marriage Renewal by Maggie Cox, only to realize that I had almost purchased it a second time. Thank God I didn't, because after a valiant effort, I gave up and skimmed the last 50 pages or so. In this one, five years after walking out on his wife, Tara, and their marriage, Mac Simmmonsen seeks her out to ask for a divorce. He is engaged to marry another woman, but upon seeing Tara again and hearing about the child they lost, promptly changes his mind and breaks it off with the fiancee. But that's okay, because she is French and therefore vain, shallow, and probably smelly. Instead Mac is determined to win his (understandably) skittish wife back. In the end, I just couldn't get past the premise of this one. This guy walks out on his weeping wife, doesn't contact her at all for five years, then upon catching sight of her realizes he still loves her. Dude, you didn't contact her at all for 5 years. Didn't even google her. Didn't even check to see if she had a MySpace page. It's not like he had much of a reaon either. He was just work-obsessed. I felt like he just wanted to get back with her because he knew she had been pregnant, and wanted to be a father. It also seemed like their past issues (his workaholism, and her resentment of his career) would get in the way again. BTW, I'm trying not to think too much about why I keep buying these "troubled marriage" books.

If you find yourself over- or underwhelmed by the array and descriptions of HPs and don't know if you can bring yourself to go there, I highly recommend giving Lucy Monroe a try. And now I'm ready for a change of pace. I'm going to try Blo<Blood Son by Erica Orloff. Trying out Harlequin's new paranormal line. Let's see how it goes.

Harlequin Happy...Part deux (Spoilers)

Title/Author: The Bought and Paid For Wife by Bronwyn Jameson
Line: Silhouette Desire
Miniseries/Tagline: The Secret Lives of Society Wives--Some scandals even money can't hide...
Plot: REVENGE!
Hero: Tristan Thorpe--bitter stepson, rich Australian footballer and businessman
Heroine: Vanessa Thorpe--former waitress from Yonkers, trophy wife/widow

Review: So I bought this one because of the title. It must've sounded interesting at the time, but when I pulled it out, I was like, Dang, what were you thinking? Because:

a) A romance heroine cannot really be a golddigger, so she must have a mentally disturbed or developmentally disabled sibling or child to support, and that's why she married a rich old coot.

b) Sex with old men is icky if you're not an old lady, so the marriage must've been platonic. Hubby was the daddy that her alcoholic, jailbird father could never be.

[Click on post title for full post]


These chesnuts never get old. Yes, yes they do. I must have been in weird mood the day I bought this one, because golddiggers with hearts of gold? Not my bag. Plus, now I think that I'm psychic. The Bought and Paid For Wife, revolves around Tristan Thorpe, who is contesting his father's will. Twenty years ago, Tristan's father divorced his mother, and they moved to Australia with nothing. And now the old man's left his entire estate to some young chippy? Tristan's going to get his (and his mother's) piece from the father who abandoned him. And if he has to go to Eastwick CT and prove the golddigger's infidelity, so be it. For her part, Vanessa has tried to be as polite as possible to the stepson she has never met, but she's not going to take his crap any more. Of course, sparks will fly and nothing is what it seems.

Sooo...not bad, not great, pretty standard. Yes, indeedy, Mrs. Thorpe, Tristan's Stepmama, who's not really a golddigging slut, has an autistic younger brother who she has taken care of since she was a teenager. Sigh. She also never slept with her late husband. In fact, she is a 29 year old virgin widow. Sigh. I would assume that this extra measure of purity was taken to make up for the extra ick points caused by the possibility of sleeping with a father and son. She didn't just not screw your daddy, she hasn't screwed anyone but you, Tristan! He comes off rather hard and mean, but soon softens under the spell of lust. Vanessa's a bit colder. I don't quite understand why the heroine, Vanessa, was quite so insistent on keeping her brother a secret from everyone she knew, including her closest friends. I guess there wouldn't have been much of a story otherwise. But there was nice chemistry between the two, and it kept me reading.

Also, Jameson did a nice job of interesting me in the other books in the mini-series. Speaking of, which, eHarlequin.com doesn't keep much of a record of its backlist, huh? This book was from 6/06, and I couldn't find it, or any of the others in the mini-series on the site. I also appreciated how the book ended. Often in categories, I'm frustrated by the leap at the end to marriage and babies. It seems too quick for the story given. But in this one, they acknowledged that they were in love, but they still had a lot to work on and learn about each other. I felt like the story of Tristan's upbringing and his mother's possible lies was given short shrift, and it would've added to the story/character development more. Also Jameson's Australian, and her writing did not seem very American, know what I mean? Certain phrasing and usage...just not what an American would say. It didn't bother me really, I found it a bit amusing, just noting it. I'd give this one a C. I enjoyed it, not a keeper.

Now I remember why I cut back on the categories. They always sound good at the time, then I get disappointed.

Harlequin Happy...

My reading mood keeps changing. All of a sudden I decided that I was in the mood for some classic Alpha males and babies of revenge. So I pulled out some Harlequins that I bought awhile ago.

Title/Author: Jack Riordan's Baby by Anne Mather
Line: Harlequin Presents
Miniseries/Tagline: Wedlocked!--Legally Wed, but He's Never Said "I love you!"
Plot: Big Misunderstanding/Troubled Marriage/General Stupidity
Hero: Jack Riordan--hardworking, sexy Irish construction CEO
Heroine: Rachel Riordan--Poor little rich girl wife

Review: Where to begin? Well as our story opens, Rachel is confronted by a woman named Karen Johnson, who claims to be pregnant with Rachel's husband's baby. Rachel is understandably outraged, even though she had known of her estranged husband's affair for the past six months. She awaits her husband's return that evening, and what does she do? Does she throw a wine bottle at his head while ranting about castration and betrayal? No, despite the fact that they haven't shared a room in over two years, she seduces him. In the time honored tradition of idiots everywhere, she is going to get pregnant to keep her man. Excellent. Of course, husband Jack isn't really having an affair, and he is so happy when he finally gets some from his wife, that he's gobsmacked when she accuses him. Karen is actually an evil stalker, and she's going to cause more problems for these two, who have lots of problems already. Misunderstandings and miscommunication abound.

[Click on Post Title for full post.]

I haven't read a book that filled me with such irritation and rage in very long time. I freaking hated it. This is supposed to be about a couple whose marriage has been torn apart by repeated miscarriages, an interesting premise to explore, but poorly exceuted here. Unable to share her pain and fearful of getting pregnant again, Rachel pretty much checks out of their marriage. Jack responds by throwing himself into work. Yet we are supposed to believe that these two truly love and lust after each other. Rachel hasn't slept in the same wing as her husband in over two years. She made him sleep in an armchair while visiting his parents, for Chrissakes. Jack is suffering from health problems, but doesn't feel he can confide in his wife. I just had a difficult time getting past the fact that they had let their marriage deteriorate so badly, without any kind of communication or effort. Then some ho says she's pregnant and they suddenly realize how much they love each other? The situation isn't helped by the fact that the characterization is paper-thin. Rachel is a passive, whiny brat, both boring and unpleasant. Jack, far from the chest beating Alpha I expected, just seemed weary and depressed. Understandable perhaps, but not romantic. This was a failure on all levels. It was awkwardly told, there was no chemistry, no heat, no romance. It gets my first ever F. The only thing that made me smile was when evil stalker ho pushed Rachel off the cliff. Everything else in the book I both expected and dreaded. That was a surprise that made me laugh, albeit inappropriately.

Get in the Way Back Machine

When I was in High School, I was sick all the time. ALL THE TIME. I had two extended bouts with mono, and in between I was plagued with constant sinus infections. During this period of time I read a lot. While I was home alone, I developed the habit of picking through my mother's stash of Romance keepers. There were several that stood out in my mind, and when my parents moved last summer, it provided me with a great opportunity to make off with some of them. I've been meaning to re-read to see if my 31 year old self likes the same stuff my 16 year old self did. But I haven't had the time until now. Seriously unable to stick with any book (check out my pathetic tally to the right), I thought that one of these old categories would be a quick read.

As it turns out, Laura Leone (now writing primarily as Laura Resnick, has written a number of well-received romances (including the man-whore book Fallen From Grace, which I've been intending to read.) The old favorite I picked out was Guilty Secrets, a Silhouette Desire originally published in 1990, and now out of print.

Guilty Secrets revolves around Leah MacCargar, a History graduate student who returns home for the summer to the Ithaca, New York home of Verbena MacCargar, the aunt who raised her. Leah is dismayed to find that her aunt, a noted Medievalist, has chosen a most unsuitable writing partner for her next publishing endeavor. Adam Jordan, who has taken up residence in the rambling home, is an author of what Leah considers to be flashy, lowbrow, "pop" history. Though he is handsome, sexy and charming, Leah disdainfully doubts his intellectual capabilities and academic credentials. Fiercely protective of her aunt, Leah sets out to get rid of the man she perceives to be a threat to her eccentric aunt's reputation and career. However, her interactions with Adam will ultimately cause her to question her long held beliefs.

["Read More!" is not working. Please click on the post title for the full post.]



This book held up quite well fifteen years later. Leone writes with a light, sure, intelligent touch. I enjoyed the accademic setting. This book is full of wacky hijinks. You've got eccentric family members, a menagerie of weird pets, pretentious academics, mysterious men in badly tailored suits and new age gurus running amok. Instead of being corny or hamfisted however, GS is witty and amusing throughout. The characters are great, particularly the hero. Adam is a well rounded character, charming, sexy and very intelligent. Unfortunately, Leah is another story. She is an unabashed intellectual snob who passes incredibly uninformed judgments upon Adam. At one point, he thinks to himself that the reasons she resists their attraction are "...superficial, pretentious, insubstantial and snobbish...." This isn't a bad description of the character herself, which dampened my enjoyment somewhat. But the couple's chemistry is sparkling, their interactions are fun, and Adam always gets the last word. As Leah comes to realize the folly of her ways, she becomes more likeable, and I definitely rooted for their HEA. Leone did a good job of showing their growing respect for each other, as well as their increasing attraction.

All in all, my teenage self had pretty good taste. Although I was left with the feeling that things got wrapped up a bit neatly and quickly (which I often feel with category romance), overall this was a funny, fast read with believable love story and fully realized characters. It's one of the best categories I've ever read, and I'd give it a B+. A look over Ms. Leone's website suggest that culture clashes and wit are a specialty of hers. A number of her titles are available in electronic format, and I'll definitely be checking them out in the future.

Fun with Blogger...

So I upgraded to the new Blogger. Please bear with me as I play around. I haven't done much with the blog and I'm having this whole New Year's burst of energy and I want to snaz it up a bit. Why are people suddenly coming up as "anonymous"? Because they haven't upgraded yet? Oh well, bound to be annoyances.

I finished Man in a Million by Jessica Bird. It was ok. I try to judge categories a little differently, because they tend to leave me a bit disappointed. I think that the format puts some limitations on what an author can do, so I try to keep that in mind. This one started off strong, then lost steam as it went along. Spike Moriarty is a tattooed chef with a dark past. Madeline "Mad Dog" Maguire is an Amazonian professional sailor, with plenty of confidence in her athletic skills,and not so much in the personal and social arena. They met in Bird's previous title, From the First, and are extremely attracted to each other. Ms. Bird/Ward does the mental lusting thing extremely well. So often it is cringe or vomit inducing, but I was squeeing for these two to get it on already.

But when they did, it wasn't as hot as I was expecting. There is a contrived, rather stupid "big misunderstanding." Mad has very low self esteem, due to years of emotional abuse and manipulation by her family. I imagine that this is supposed to make it more understandable that she would jump so quickly to a ridiculous conclusion, but I couldn't help being annoyed and frustrated.

Also (and I admit this is a hot button for me), Mad is described as never eating, to the point where she doesn't menstruate. On the last page, Spike suggests that she should eat more often. I don't know if the author was intimating that this is normal for a female athlete, rather than a sign of an eating disorder, but coupled with the other evidence of Mad's poor self-image, I found it troubling. I wish that Spike had suggested therapy along with food. I wouldn't have minded if Mad's eating issues had been presented as an issue for them to deal with, but I was not comfortable with the way it was just a throwaway thing. But maybe that's just me. Eh, so I'm giving this one a C. I'll read future Bird works, but I'll just have to keep in mind that they're no Black Dagger Brotherhood. Heh.

Finally, and perhaps I'm the last to know because I live in a cave, there are two upcoming television shows that may be of interest. The Sci-Fi Channel is doing a television series based on the Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher. Entertainment Weekly gave it a mediocre review, but I'll still give it a try. Also Masterpiece Theatre (PBS), is showing a new miniseries of Jane Eyre, for those who care (meaning me). It looks goooood. Alas, I believe that they are both on this Sunday, so I think I'll be choosing Jane over Harry.